Chapter 5: The Non-Return
Chapter 5: The Non-Return
As I was going about my business tidying up the house today, I suddenly got hit with a realization that literally stopped me in my tracks. "Back-to-school" is not happening for me this year. I will not be welcoming a hundred new teenagers to my classroom, each preparing to frustrate and challenge me, fill my heart with joy, or (more often than not), both. I will not be reuniting with last year's 7th and 8th graders, seeing how they have grown and changed over the summer. No stressing over lesson plans. No planning for a school play and trying to come up with creative ways to make it work with no stage, no storage, and minimal resources. No lunch with coworkers, sharing complaints, frustrations, funny stories, and ideas about how to handle a student or classroom problem. No dropping by my friends' classrooms before or after school to share the latest tea. I am feeling all of the emotions I expected to. I'm devastated about not starting school, and can't stop thinking about all of the people and aspects that I am going to miss. However, there's also the sense of a weight lifting off of my shoulders that I hadn't realized was there until now. It's that weight that starts settling in about mid-July, of the impending stress that comes with a new school year. This is a very strange mental place for me to be.
There is SO much relief about not going back. It's no secret to anyone who has been paying attention, but it gets harder and harder to be a teacher every day in this country. Show me a teacher who feels respected by their admin, students, and (especially) the parents in their community, and I will show you a liar.
The level of parental pushback and entitlement is legitimately getting terrifying. I am not, by any means, suggesting that all parents are the problem. I have been fortunate enough to work with some of the most amazing and supportive parents during my career, many of whom I still consider friends. I would never have made it through some of the most difficult moments of my teaching life without some of these parents. Unfortunately, there is an ever-growing group of loud, pushy, frightening parents who have learned that, if they yell loudly enough, they will get their way. Let me make this clear: I am 100% in support of parental involvement in the classroom. They have the right to know what is being taught. They have a right to give feedback on curriculum, and to address concerns with it. However, we have crossed that line into parents feeling entitled to actually dictate what is taught, and how. To demand content be removed from curriculum because they personally disagree with it on a political or religious level. To try and remove any obstacle their child may face, because they think it somehow helps that child if they never have to struggle or feel stressed out or uncomfortable. And the more they get their way, the louder and pushier they become. I have personally witnessed this metamorphosis in several parents over just two or three years.
The student climate has also changed. COVID had an insane effect on students that we are still seeing now. Many of the students who aren't inheriting their parents' entitlement have simply lost all of their steam for school. Students who used to care about succeeding in school are consistently putting in the bare minimum (or less). There is so little motivation for learning. Until the last couple of years, I had never heard so many students openly announce that they don't care about learning the material, they just want to figure out the workarounds to get through. Many of them are putting twice the effort into avoiding work than it would require to just do the work. Have there always been students like this? Absolutely. But it has become closer and closer to the norm than the exception since 2020. My fear is that it's going to get worse before it gets better, if it gets better.
In the midst of all of this, we're also dealing with a portion of our society very loudly accusing us of trying to indoctrinate students, groom them, and basically harm everyone and everything we touch. All for a shockingly low salary. Again, it isn't a secret to anyone that teachers are under-compensated. Literally no one goes into teaching thinking that they are going to be making bank. The scary thing is that teachers are now leaving the field in droves. We are taking the people who aren't in it for the money, and making the career so miserable that it's not even worth it to them.
Beyond the relief of stepping away from the above-mentioned stresses, it's also a relief to know that I'm not going to have to try and balance my family with my job this year. Every day, Charlie says more new words. Every day, she and Oliver are interacting more and their relationship is growing. Knowing that I am going to get to be home with them and watch it all happen is beautiful. I can schedule dentist, doctor, OT, and speech therapy appointments freely, without worrying about taking time off work or rushing home to get there in time. I don't go to bed each night in a panic, worrying about what we're going to do if one of the kids wakes up sick and can't go to daycare. I just get to worry about my family and its needs. I can't deny the beauty of that.
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